I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. Thinking about the past, thinking about the future and what life will bring. But mostly, I’ve been thinking a lot about the present. I’m going to be honest with you guys, I’m in the thick of it. Right now, life is a constant hustle-your-bustle, shake-your-groove-thang, complete exhaustion yet thrill of a lifetime type of ride. Life is busy. The kind of busy that leaves your heart full and happy but the kind that leaves you breathless and in bed before 9PM. Do you understand what I’m saying? Please raise your hand if you can relate.
I’ve thought, no less than 100 times that my second novel would be finished by now. But the truth is, I’m struggling to balance it all. I’m a wife, a momma to two kiddos under four, a career gal and sometimes there just isn’t enough time in the day to be an author too. Juggling it all is a constant struggle, but one I am so incredibly grateful for. I’m so thankful for it all. The love, the happiness, the struggle. All of it is so real inside of me. I’m just trying to take my time and figure it out. I’m so blessed with a life that allows me to hope and dream and one day, I will figure it all out and I will finish that second novel of mine. But I am not going to give myself a timeline because if I do, it will take away from the moment. My moment. The small moment in time when I can sit back and watch my babies grow, relishing in the fact that I am present and there when it matters the most. Some days are easy and others, not so much, but as I sit here and slowly sip my morning cup of hot lemon water, I am grateful as the I think of it all. My heart is overflowing. There is so much I could say but instead, I will say I am striving to come to peace with myself. There are so many feelings that come from desperately wanting a perfectly put together life but instead discovering that God’s broken, and pieced-together path is actually the most beautiful one out there. I am not where I want to be or who I want to be, but I am a work in progress. And as I work toward becoming the person I want to be, I will choose GRACE, not perfection.
Baby steps, y’all.